I returned home on June 9 and over the weekend everyone stopped by at one time or another. It was wonderful and Jen made it special. In the days and weeks that followed I’ve reconnected with family, perhaps relating in a different way than before.
I had missed them all, more than I realized in the moment.
Being with them again, oftentimes just watching, reinforced their monumental importance to my life.
It’s been a transition, though. Not painful but considerable. I’m still processing what happens to a mind when it‘s allowed to observe the world, and itself, outside the usual boxes of comfort, certainty and safety. To engage in conversation day in and day out with one‘s interior, that formless presence which sees and knows everything.
Perhaps in another blog I’ll explore the pros and cons of traveling solo versus with a partner or group - to move about without itinerary, agenda or deadline.
They say the brain is plastic and that we can nurture that plasticity well into our later years. “Before and after” brain MRIs might not reveal changes but it feels at times as if mine has been rewired. I don’t know if that’s a good thing, having to live in the world as it is. I’m fortunate, I suppose, to be at that age where less and less is expected of me and I become more and more invisible.
But the question for now, is how to balance the desire for community / family / intimacy with the need for autonomy. I wonder if most people, after the time of child rearing and work life, ask themselves the question. I’m aware more than ever that stretches of solitude are necessary for my well being, as is home life. Discerning the proper measure of each is the challenge.
Maine
For the past several years I’ve done restorative justice work in Maine, initially with the Portland Center for Restorative Justice and now with the Cumberland County District Attorney. After being home four weeks, I headed east, making my way over three days rather the customary two. I was surprised, though not entirely, that by slowing down I could revisit that quiet space I had known for many months.
It helped that I exited I-90 mid-way across the state of New York and took the back roads to the Hudson River, drove at a snail’s pace across Vermont,
and stopped for an afternoon to hike the Champney Falls trail in New Hampshire.
Having been in Maine for nine days now, I’ve camped near South Freeport at a HipCamp site
down the road from Winslow Park
where I shower for free and walk the beach trail.
I’ve had lunch at the newly opened South Freeport Market,
stayed at the Black Elephant Hostel
on Hampshire Street in downtown Portland,
and with friends who live near the shore of Portland’s Back Cove with sweet Emma.
I’ve taken in the Hokusai exhibit,
had Thai food with a good friend at the Green Elephant,
and walked the Eastern Promenade on a sunny afternoon.
Tomorrow morning I’ll facilitate a restorative dialogue in a criminal case referred by the Maine Attorney General’s office then meet with the Cumberland County District Attorney to chart a restorative justice course for the next twelve months.
Striking the right balance as I move forward will likely not require months away. In retrospect, though, I’d do it all over again and every day would be a new one, just as before.
An Ivory Coast Story
Yesterday morning after showering at Winslow Park I met a young man from Quebec City who’d just arrived to camp. We struck up a conversation, one thing leading to the next. I enjoyed it immensely, just I’d enjoyed many chance conversations while away.
I learned little of Serge’s life or work, but he shared a story told by Boucar Diouf from Senegal, now a Canadian.
Boucar, a scientist, teacher, writer, comedian, and storyteller,
tells of a man who arrived at the entry gate of a remote village in the Ivory Coast. The man was met by an elder who inquired of his needs.
City Fellow: “I’m from the city where there’s noise, chaos, and conflicts.”
Wise Man: “You’ve come to the right place. Our village is just the same.”
And so the City Fellow moved on, continuing his search.
Sometime later, another man arrived at the village and was greeted by the Wise Man.
Wise Man: “Tell me, what are your needs?”
Traveler: “I have no needs as I’m a mere traveler. All along the way I’ve been met by good people who’ve treated me with great kindness. I’m in search of more of the same.”
Wise Man: “You’ve come to the right place. Please come in.”
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